”You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.”

MOVIE SIGNATURE TUTORIAL: Put .mov Files On Your Signature

2009-07-14T15:44:00.003+08:00

Movie Sig Tutorial

What you need: MOV file, ImageReady and Photoshop.

Heres the tutorial proper:

1. First you need to get a .mov file (only a quicktime .mov file will do), of anything you want to put into your sig.. If you choose a movie with a different format other than .mov extension then you have to convert it to .mov before you can use it in your sig.

2. Open Photoshop then jump to Image Ready (I’m working with Photoshop and Image ready 7.0 )

3. Once you are in ImageReady go to File > open, open your .mov (quicktime movie) file, you should have a screen like this:

4. Then select whether you want the whole movie or just part of the movie. If the part that you choose is large click "Selected Range Only" and "Limit to Every" and then select 2nd, 3rd or 4th" frame. Use your own judgement in choosing the number of frames you want to limit. I usually don't go pass 4 but you can use any number you like within reason.

5. Now on the bottom of the window there is a bar, move the bar to where you want your movie to start, then hold shift and move it again to where you want it to end. This is what I have so far:

NOTE: The length of your movie will vary tremendously. There are times when I start my movie file in the middle of the trailor and hardly move the slider at all. It all depends on the length of the original movie trailor. Some movies are 12mb, some are just 2mb, again it all depends on how large of file you want your .mov to be. DON’T FORGET IF YOU USE A LARGE .MOV FILE EDIT YOUR FRAMES.

6. That wasn't so hard was it? O.K. now the next step is to change the delay in the frames. That is done in the animation window. Ok, u have the movie in imageready in frames, you can see there is a delay we have to change that by > follow the directions below:

7. Yes, I have 118 frames . Now you have to resize your image. We do this by going to image > image size. I used these settings but you can use whatever settings you want depending on how big you want your movie to be.

8. Once you resize your image (.mov) you now have to go to photoshop. We do this by going to file>jump to>adobe photoshop 7.0 or by:

9. Now that you're in Photoshop go to image > canvas size and I used these settings but you can use any size you what your sig to be (This may take a while depending on what kind of PC you have) I have no problem

This is what I have so far in Photoshop:

10. This part is very important, make sure that you lock all the layers together on the layer palette. YOU HAVE TO LOCK THE LAYERS TOGETHER like this:

11. Now that ALL the LAYERS are LOCKED TOGETHER, you can move the movie around anywhere you like, make a new layer (make sure the new layer is under all the other layers) and start making your sig, like this:

12. After you finish making your sig make sure that all of the new layers that you created to make your sig have an eye next to them.

Also (very important) make sure that you lock all of the movie layers before you move on to the next step. Now we are ready to move it all back to ImageReady (shift+ctrl+m) or click here:

13. Once everything is in ImageReady go to File > Save Optimized as (ctrl+shift+alt+s ):

14. That's it your finished! Hopefully you had fun making your sig.

GRAPHIC DESIGN TIPS

2009-07-14T15:22:00.000+08:00

Setting up your canvas

Plan and Play small scale

Don't jump straight in at the deep end with a huge resolution canvas image. While your playing with ideas just stick to a standard screen resolution. Vector programs such as Illustrator or Flash are great for playing as if you end up creating something amaizing you can easily enlarge it when you are ready. You could also try the old pen and paper, not much in the way of fancy effects but good for layout ideas.

High Resolution Source Images

Before you start any print based design project for a client, make sure you inform them that any images they wish to include in the design must be large enough for print and that horrible little stamp sizes email attachments just woun't cut it.

If worse comes to worse and they have asked you to add a manufacturer or sponsors logo for example, try Google Image Search and see what you can find.

Choosing a colour mode

Be sure that the first thing you do when designing is to set the correct colour mode! Design for screen such as websites and video should be set to (RGB or Bitmap). For print based media use (CMYK), this is due to the screens ability to use higher contrast levels than printers, therefore colour seen on a computer screen is often different from the colour of the same object on printed media.

Guides can be helpful

When designing for print using guides and rulers are essential for complex designs such as box or package layouts, and they help you to plan precisely. Be sure to set these up straight after you have sorted out your document size, resolution and colour mode. Because there’s nothing worse than screwing up the fold lines on print day ouch! In Adobe Photoshop you can find these under the "View" menu

Colour moods

Remember when planning your colour schemes that particular colours can bring out certain moods and can often give meanings to your artwork you would never expect.

Here's an amazing web site that shows just how colours can be subconsciously associated with many different things. www.mariaclaudiacortes.com

Fonts help evolution

If you don’t add new fonts to your collection regularly you might run the risk of getting stuck using only your favourites. Therefore your design style may never evolve. A good font can often make any design great and changing a font will often change the whole appearance and style of any project. Here’s a great collection of freely available fonts from my collection to give you a little push towards evolution! (Font Selection )

Stuck for inspiration? Try abstract

When stuck for inspiration I will often end up playing around with various shapes and images with an (ordered chaos) type behaviour. 9 times out of 10 through this kind of playing, I will come up with a great idea depending on how some random images or effects came together.

Choosing a resolution

Another essential part of any pre-production is to also take into account the HUGE importance of setting the right resolution. For screen resolution particularly website design use 72 dpi as this will ensure your font sizes match those used on websites.

For print based media the standard set by most print companies is 300 dpi. The only real need to go above this resolution is for very detailed media that may contain extremely small text (a bit like the small print on an insurance contract ha ha)

Design Tips and Tricks

Save, Copy & Backup

We have all probably had that horrible feeling when a program crashes and then you realise you didn't save, the only advice I can give especially when working on huge multi layered design projects is to not only save regularly but to go that little bit further. Save a new fresh file-named copy of your project every hour, why you ask? Well I've had a few times where my software crashed unexpectedly and ended up corrupting the file itself making it totally useless.

Choose colours wisely

When thinking about colour schemes for your designs be sure not to include too many different colours, especially if you are trying to put across some form of brand image or style. Play with different shades of one colour or choose two colours that are closely related as this will help all elements of a design relate to each other and be recognisable for that particular brand or identity. Here's a great tool that generates shades of a chosen colour.

Know when to stop

It's quite hard to know when to stop especially when you're on what I like to call (a natural high) due to the fact that your ideas have come together so well that your design looks better with every click. This feeling will often make you keep thinking that if you just add one more bit here and there it will be even better, but take care you don't over do it and create an over busy, over layered monster.

Try Home Made Vector

Anyone can make great vector artwork even if you are totally useless when it comes to drawing. Just gather some photographs that relate to your project. Then use a vector illustration program such as Illustrator or my favourite Flash. All you then need to do is draw around the main features, then fill them with closely related colours that link each of the sections e.g. white for skin grey for shadows. You'll be surprised at how easily it is to give plain images you're own style with this technique.

Adobe Flash Drawing Tools

You may not have thought about this but the vector based drawing tools in Adobe Flash are some of the best I've ever used, this along with the fact that you can select and edit any part of a finished shape over different layers makes this a great wildcard for things like logo design. You can also export artwork to other formats such as Adobe Illustrator when your done.

Use Lorem Ipsum

The single greatest breakthrough in the layout and typesetting industry, Lorem Ipsum is derived from ancient Latin and has been used as standard dummy text ever since the 1500's. Why? Well using repetitive words like "text here text here" in areas of your layout often stick out like a sore thumb. Lorem Ipsum however with its more-or-less normal distribution of letters gives a good natural flow to the text, making it seem like readable English as the eye passes over.

Text for web in Photoshop

A problem encountered when I was new to layout design, was to mimic the un-smoothed standard text shown websites in Photoshop. To achieve this you will need to first select the font tool, then look for the Anti-Aliased (aa) icon setting and set this to "None". There you have it instant web style text that will look the same in a browser, (be sure to also read the section on resolutions for a perfect font match).

Check out Blending Options

Adobe Photoshop's blending options can be found in the layers panel. They are great for adding important final touches to various design elements, and with some of the right techniques can help turn dull lifeless text or images into some real works of art. See our Jazz up text with Gradient Overlay tutorial, for some examples of this great Photoshop feature.

Gradients Are Great

Gradients are very popular these days especially with all this web 2.0 talk. They are the secret behind all those shiny buttons and menus and can really bring a design to life when done right. To see some of a various techniques and effects possible with gradients, see our article Becoming a Gradient Junkie.

Avoid Tacky Effects

Spend time gently tweaking various effects and blending options, don't just chuck on a default bevel or high contrast drop shadow as they can look seriously unprofessional)

HOW TO INSTALL PATTERNS IN ADOBE PHOTOSHOP CS3

2009-07-09T02:26:00.001+08:00

You've downloaded new pattern and you want to load it to yous Adobe Photoshop, read this tutorial....

HOW TO INSTALL BRUSHES IN ADOBE PHOTOSHOP CS3

2009-07-09T02:19:00.004+08:00

If you've downloaded the .abr file and don't know what to do next, read this tutorial.

Put the .abr file you've downloaded into the folder /Users/{username}/Library/Application Support/Adobe/Adobe Photoshop CS3/Presets/Brushes (on mac OS X) or C:\Program Files\Adobe\Photoshop\Presets\Brushes (on Windows) .
Then open your Adobe Photoshop, active brush tool, go to option palette and click on to open the brush preset picker.

Then click on little triangel in the right upper corner.

Next on the list you choose 'Load Brushes'

In the dialog box choose the .abr file you want to load and your new brushes appear in the Brush palette and are just ready to use.

HOW CREATE PHOTOSHOP BRUSHES

2009-07-09T01:57:00.002+08:00

Two basic general features that characterize brushes set limits on what can be successfully turned into a brush. And what can be a brush is almost anything.

First is color. Photoshop uses gray scale info while defining brushes. You can make a brush out of a colorful image but converting your document to Grayscale will give you a better idea of what you are doing. Anything that is white becomes transparent (0% opacity), anything black becomes 100% opaque and any other color turns translucent (opacity somewhere between 0 and 100%).
Second limitation is size: there is a maximum brush size possible. From Photoshop 7.0 on it's 2500 px x 2500 px (and 999 px for earlier versions). The larger the brush is created the better, so we strongly encourage you to create large brushes (ideally about 2500 px x 2500 px). The reason is you can’t increase the diameter of your brush beyond its original size without blurring.

There are plenty of ways to create a brush. You may start from a scanned image, a vector graphics,
a raster graphics or a photo.

We will guide you through a process of creating a sample brush in Adobe Photoshop CS4 from
a scanned ink stroke.

Step 1

Create a black ink stroke on a white paper and scan it. The optimum scan settings will vary depending on your scanner quality. Here, we set the resolution to 200 dpi.

Step 2

Open your scan file in Photoshop and change the color mode to 8-bit Grayscale (Image > Mode).

Step 3

You need some time to clean the image. With your bare eye it may look ok but it’s important to always make sure that there are no artifacts. Great tools to do that are (alternatively) levels and threshold. Open the Image > Adjustments > Levels panel and drag the left slider in the Input Level panel right to the end

or open the Image > Adjustments > Threshold panel and drag the slider right to the end

It may happen that the background turns grey (after levels adjustment)

or totally black (after threshold). That means the white background is not truly white. Note, in this step always choose ‘Cancel’ - we only want to identify possible artifacts.

Step 4 (Fixing the background - if necessary)

We will use Levels.

Drag the right slider in the Input Levels panel slightly left. That turns the brightest pixels white. To check if the right slider is moved enough, drag the l

eft slider right to meet the right one. If the background stays white, the right slider position is ok. Bring the left one back to its origin.

Step 5 (Further cleaning - if necessary)

Once the background is fixed repeat Step 3. Now you

can easily see plenty of very tiny ink stains all around our stroke. Some of them may add some character to you brush, but we want to get rid of the majority of them.

There is a trick how to do that effectively and easily. Create a white background layer. Duplicate your stroke layer and turn its visibility off. Apply levels

or threshold adjustment as you did before to the stroke copy layer but this time hit the OK button. Now, create a mask and start to paint over all unwanted stains with a black brush.

Once all of the stains are masked, drag the mask to the stroke layer, turn it on and delete the copy.

Step 6

Your stroke is now clean, you can adjust it a bit, again using Image > Adjustments > Levels (or Brightness/Contrast, Exposure, Curves, Threshold). Hit OK once you get an appearance you are satisfied with

Step 7

Now, with a stroke ready to be turned into a brush

go to Edit > Create Brush Preset. Choose a name for your brush and hit OK.

A new brush is created. You did not have to select your image since Photoshop recognizes all pixels that are not white and include them into a new brush area. However, if you select a portion of your image, only the selection will be turned into a brush.

Test your brush and enjoy!

What next? If you want to export your brushes (eg. send them to myPhotoshopBrushes.com) go to Edit > Preset Manager, choose Brushes as the Preset Type and select all your new brushes holding the Shift key. Pressing the Save Set button saves the whole pack as an .abr file.

VISIONS - THE PHOTOGRAPHY NETWORK

2009-07-07T20:34:00.000+08:00

Find more videos like this on The Photography Network - PictureSocial

WEDDING PHOTO ALBUM TEMPLATES IN PHOTOSHOP

2009-07-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

HOW TO CREATE A STACK OF PHOTO WITH PHOTOSHOP

2009-07-07T20:29:00.000+08:00

CREATING A MAGNIFYING GLASS FROM SCRATCH

2009-07-07T18:19:00.014+08:00

In this tutorial, we will look at creating a magnifying glass from scratch. You can use this guide for any underlying image or text, to make it look as though it has been magnified somewhat.

We will start with a blank canvas with the text or image we will have underneath the magnifying glass:

Next, make a selection with the elliptical marquee tool like so:

Create a new layer and fill the selection with a gradient like so:
Now create another new layer and right-click the selection or goto Edit > Stroke. Choose 10px, Outside, Black and you should have this:

This will be our frame for the glass. Create another new layer, then goto Select > Modify > Expand, by 5px and then Edit > Stroke, 2px, Center, White.
This will be the frame highlight. Now Ctrl-Click the frame layer to make a selection, and with the newest layer active (frame highlight), we will goto Filter > Blur > Gaussian Blur. Choose somewhere around 2-3 pixels, or whatever you think looks best. Then with the same selection, goto Select > Modify > Expand, by about 2px. Then apply the Gaussian Blur to the original frame layer. Not much, only by about 0.5 or so. This is to just blend the edges a bit more. We should now have this:

Next, Ctrl-Click the glass layer to make a selection and hide the glass and frame layers, so we just have the text. Now make the text layer active and goto Filter > Distort > Pinch. If it asks you to Rasterize the Type first, click Yes, or Ok. Now choose a negative value of around -50, or whatever looks good for your effect.

Now unhide all layers and reduce the opacity of the glass layer down to 40% or so :

Now we want to add a lens glare to the glass to give it a more realistic look. Goto Filter > Render > Lens Flare. Choose one of the options, whichever looks best. And we'll get a subtle glass effect:

Finally, make a selection for the handle, wherever you want to put it. If you want it at an angle, you can use the Polygonal Lasso tool using Shift, to create 45° angles, like so:
Fill the selection in with any color on a new layer. Then goto the layer styles and add a gradient overlay. You may need to alter the scale and reposition it whilst in the layer styles window. You may also want to add a texture to it, using patter overlay.

We can add some further effects with drop shadows and duplication, blurring, and reducing opacity:

CREATING EYES FROM SCRATCH

2009-07-07T16:38:00.016+08:00

It can be extremely useful to have at your disposal a whole library of eyes to use in different types of digital compositions. This tutorial will show you how to create your own eyes so that you do not need to keep thousands of stock images of eyes.
We will start with a blank canvas and then create a new layer. On this new layer, create a perfect circle by using the Elliptical Marquee tool and holding shift, then fill the new layer with an eye color of your choice:Next, goto Filter > Noise > Add Noise. Choose around 10% of Gaussian make sure Monochromatic is checked. Then goto Select > Modify > Expand, bye around 30px, and then goto Filter > Blur > Radial Blur. Choose Zoom, Amount 70, Good. Now goto Select > Modify > Contract, 30px. Select > Inverse, and hit delete. We should be left with this:
Create a new layer and Ctrl-click the main eye layer we've just been working on to make a selection. Then we want to make sure the new layer is active, and goto Edit > Stroke. Choose around 10px, Inside, and a color slightly darker than the one you used for the main eye color. We should have something like this:

Now going back the our original layer, we should open up its layer styles and add the following:
(CLICK THE IMAGE TO SEE THE FULL SIZE)

You are encouraged to play with these settings and values, and even add some more to make the eye looking even better. Experimenting in PhotoShop is very much advised. After these settings have been applied, we end up with this:

We also added a brown color overlay to the outer ring and then added a new layer with a black circle for the pupil:

Finally, we added layer styles to the pupil to give it more of a glint. Add a black Outer Glow, changing the Blend Mode to Normal and also add a Bevel and Emboss with similar settings to that of the main eye layer. For this example, we used a highlight color of gray, Depth of 1000 and size of 70px. Using these settings, we end up with the following:We can also change the color of the eye easily, using a color or gradient overlay on the main eye layer. We can also duplicate the pupil layer and modify the shape:

PHOTOGRAPHY 101-COMPOSITION-

2009-07-06T14:10:00.007+08:00

Welcome to Photography 101. This is a series of tutorials aimed at teaching you the basics of photography. These tutorials are meant for complete beginners to the world of photography and experienced photographers who want to brush up their basics. In this tutorial, we'll be learning more about composition of good photographs.

1) THE RULE OF THIRDS
The Rule of Thirds is the thumb rule of photography. According to the rule, an image is divided into three equal parts, vertically and horizontally. The points of intersection of these lines of division make for ideal locations for the subject, or multiple subjects. If the rule of thirds is applied correctly, the image has more aesthetic appeal than a subject placed dead-on in the centre.

Example of an image taken in accordance to the rule of thirds:
The area around the intersection of the lines serves as an 'action point'. Here, the pistil of the flower's style is our point of interest and is hence placed near an action point.

The rule of thirds serves more of a guideline than a rule, but most professional photographs are taken in accordance to the rule.

2) DEPTH & PERSPECTIVE
A good photo has a good sense of depth in it. A major factor that contributes to depth is focus. A sharp and well focused image makes it more interesting to look at. When dealing with a subject, such as a person or object, it is generally better to have the background out of focus, and the subject focused precisely, so that it appears sharp and distinctive.
Here, the background is out of focus, and the twig is in focus. This diverts all attention to the twig and it's details and makes the background less distracting.

Some subjects, such as tall buildings and repeating patterns or lines should be captured in such a way that you get a vanishing point in the distance. This makes your photos more dramatic.
In this picture, we have both, a tall structure, and a repeating pattern. The repeating protrusion form lines which lead your eyes up to the apex of the tower, which makes the photo more interesting than it would have looked if it was captured from a distance, with a flat face.

3)BACKGROUND & COLOURS
It's better to keep your backgrounds as simple as possible, or complimenting the subject in some way. For example, if your subject is light in colour, then a dark background would make the subject stand out more. You can also use the colour wheel to your advantage and use complimentary/supplementary colours.

This photo is comprised of only two colours, and yet is effective. The sky makes up the background and the silhouette of the bird and the streetlight makes up the subject.

Bright coloured subjects can draw attention to them instantly. Dark backgrounds with brightly coloured subjects work wonders in photographs. This is especially useful in nature photography.
In this picture, the bright yellow flowers instantly grab your attention, leaving the background for after-thoughts.

4)FRAMING
Windows, doors, gates, arches and other such objects can be used as natural frames. Focusing on the landscape beyond the 'frame' give the photos an extremely delightful ambiance. Generally, it is better to have the inside of the frame (facing you) dark, in daylight and night photos.

Here, the dark to light progression draws your attention to the mountains beyond, making for a very unique effect.

The most important thing you should learn from this tutorial is that even though these are some of the main aspects that make up a good, composed photo, your imagination is what makes all the difference. An open mind generates the most positive results. I hope you've learnt something from this tutorial that will help you in your photography.

In the next part, we shall learn more about..... LIGHTING AND EXPOSURE!

PHOTOGRAPHY 101 -LIGHT AND EXPOSURE-

2009-07-06T12:57:00.009+08:00

Light is one of the most important aspects in a good photograph. It is absolutely essential to understand the behaviour of light to obtain good results.The direction, intensity and colour of light sets the mood of the photograph and it is important to capture this mood. Thankfully, the Earth revolves around itself, and in the process provides us with a wide array of lighting situations that we can use to our advantage.

The wee hours of morning, that is just before or after sunrise, is one of the best times to shoot a landscape photograph. The light is mostly consistent of hues of red, and long shadows. This is especially useful if you're trying to capture waterscapes or landscapes with a considerable amount of water in them, such as lakes, ponds or rivers. The refelctions caused by this light are absolutely magnificent. Later, when the light turns more yellow than red, is also a good time to capture natural-light portraits. This is also applicable for sunsets and evenings.
"In this picture, the red/yellow hues are dominant and give a very warm and fresh feeling to the photograph."

In late mornings and towards midday, the long shadows give way to short ones and the light turns yellowish. This is particularly a very good time to capture landscapes, and especially ones that have mountains or buildings in them. The strong light and short shadows mean that you'll have a better lit scene and won't have to worry about unwanted shadows and dark areas.

"The strong, vertical light minimizes unwanted shadows and produces good contrast. Consequently, all the key areas of the photograph are lit up."

Late evenings and nights are playgrounds for lightplay, especially in urban areas and roadways. To capture this light, you'll need to incorporate long exposure times and steadiness. A tripod is an absoulte must in these situations, because the slightest motion of the camera will give you different results. Theere are always exceptions, of course. Setting a long esposure time in your camera and moving it around wildly in an urban scene can generate stunning abstract light-forms.

"The plethora of different light sources, coupled with the environmental darkness produces a very eye-catching composition."

Windows are another very, very, very useful and superior 'sources' of light. The light diffused through windows, curtains and windowblinds makes for amazingly moody photographs. The best portraits and still-life photographs are taken in the natural light flooding through windows. The glass softens the light pouring in and makes for gentle highlights and soft shadows- the perfect setting for a portrait!

"The light between the blinds creates a pattern on the subject, and enhances the mood of the photograph."

"Here, light from the window itself is the subject. This setting leaves a lot to the imagination and creates a very sombre mood."

"The soft light from the window (not in picture) casts equally soft shadows and creates gradients on the objects. This, in turn gives off a calm, soothing ambience."

We will now move to the exposure part of this tutorial. Wikipedia defines exposure as "In photography, exposure is the total amount of light allowed to fall on the photographic medium (photographic film or image sensor) during the process of taking a photograph."

Knowing how long to expose a particular image is an art, or even a science that has to be learnt by experience. We will not indulge into a lot of details here, because technical details will not be useful to beginners in any way and will most probably confuse and scare off most people.

Now, letting in exactly the right amount of light is very important in a photograph. If you expose a photograph too long, then you'll end up with blown out highlights. If you expose it less than necessary, you'll end up getting a dark and dull photograph.
"A badly exposed photograph."

Keep in mind that

more light = less exposure
less light = more exposure

Long exposure times produce better results in night-time photographs while less exposure times are essential in daylight photography.

This concludes part 2 of the series. Next time, we'll learn more about Macros!

TIPS:

If you're using a digital camera, always change the white balance setting according to the amount/type of light. This makes sure you get the colours in your photo right.
Always try and experiment with different angles to get more dynamic results.
Watch out for different light effects, like light streaming through canopies or reflected off clouds. Keep your camera with you at all times.

All images used are either mine or free for use for non-profit purposes, as stated by their respective owners.

TUT: BLINKING EYES

2009-07-06T12:46:00.005+08:00

Welcome,

In this tutorail (made in Photoshop 7.0) I will try to teach you how to create the animated effect of the blinking eyes.

1. First you go get a picture of some eyes you like, for example, I took this one from the movie Memoires of a geisha.

Memoires

2. Open a new file in photoshop

New file

3. Paste and free transform (Ctrl+T) the picture of the girl in the transparent background so that it fits in to your likings.

Free transform

4. If the picture is to your likings, you need to duplicate the layer (Layer->Duplicate layer).

Duplicate layer

5. Select the copy and zoom in one of the eyes, now you are going to erease the pupils and turn it into skin. Select the Eeyedropper Tool (I) and click on the skin. Then you will get the exact skin colour.

Eyedropper Tool

6. Now this is the hard part, you have to go into detail. With the eyedropper you have the skincolour, so now you have to take a small brush a paint over the eyes. Also use the eyedroppertool to get good colour for the lashes.

Eyes closed

7. When you are done with that, you have two layers. Now here is the animation part starts, go to imageshack

Imageready

8. For your basic image you have to "hide" the upper layer. You can do this by clicking on the eye next to the image.

Layer 1

9. The first image of your animation will be with eyes open (if you don't see it click on Window->animation). Now you need to place the other image in the filmstrip.

Press

and you will get this:

Filmstrip

10. Now you need the closed eyes on the second image, go back to your layers and select only the closed eyes-layer.

Layers

Filmstrip

11. Now you need to add times in the filmstrip, otherwise she will be blinking and opening her eyes like a mental freak. For the closing eyes layer I choose something like 0.2 seconds for the opening 2 seconds.

Times

You can add more of the opening and closing the eyes, meaning that you can add more and other times, this way you avoid the robotic effect.

Final result (with some aditions ofcourse )

Anyway,

hope you have fun with it and I'm kind of curious to see some results of you .

Good luck!

GLOWING LINES EFFECT IN PHOTOSHOP

2009-07-05T23:38:00.018+08:00

Alright, you've might have seen me use this technique in some of my later work, so I figured I'd share how this effect is done.
We're of course talking about the glowing lines that wrap around these fine Japanese men.

So here it goes:

First thing that you want to do is get out some paper and a pencil, and start drawing designs. You want some nice loops and curves, so when you think you've got a good one, bring it on over to your computer.

1. Open up Photoshop (I'm not sure if this works with 7.0, I run on CS)
2. Open a new document, the size doesn't really matter but for the sake of everyone being on the same page we'll do it 500x500 Pixels in 72 ppi.
3. Reset your colors to default (black foreground/white background) by pressing "D"

4. Click the Pen Tool and switch to "Paths" mode.

5. Double-click the background layer in your "Layers" pane. Press "OK" on the window that pops up. This makes the background layer able to be edited.

6. We're going to fill this layer with black for high-contrast. To do this press Alt+Delete (Option+Delete on a Mac). You should be looking at a black window now.

7. Press "X" To switch your colors (making white your foreground and black your background)

8. Start drawing out your line with the pen tool, this takes some practice to get smooth lines that look great, so don't be afraid to start over if you don't like what you have.

9. Select the Move Tool. Then go to the "Layers" pane. Make a new layer, then click on the "Paths" pane.10. Switch to the brush tool briefly, and choose a standard brush. I like this one:

11. Switch back to the Move Tool. In the paths pane there should be a path called "Work Path." Right click this path (Control+Click on a Mac). At the bottom choose "Stroke Path." Make sure "Stimulate Pressure is checked and the option is "Brush." Press OK.

12. In the "Paths" pane, drag the Work Path to the trash can and delete it. Switch back to the "Layers" pane.
12. Congrats, you've got the basic part down, now let's add some flair.

13. Duplicate your line's layer (CTRL+J or Command+J) and move it around a bit, to create a double line effect.

14. Go ahead and duplicate it again, this time let's add a blur effect. I used a motion blur to start, but you should play around a bit here and really get an effect the suits the line you've drawn.

15. Go back to the first duplicate and select that layer. If you ask me, our line needs some color, so go and press CTRL+U (Command+U) to bring up the "Hue/Saturation" window. You want to check "Colorize" at the bottom right here. Then slide the Saturation level way up, and bring the Lightness down a bit. Using the Hues slider, find your favorite color, I'm choosing blue.

16. When you're satisfied, press OK. Still want more? Fine, let's go back to your blurred layer again. I've reorganized my layers so the blur line is at the bottom, just above the background. Now I'm going to add color to this layer too, using the same technique as last time. This time, I choose red.

17. Still more eh? Oh... I see. You want to have this line wrap around a render you happen to have. Alright, go grab a render you like. (I go to Gamerenders.com)

18. Put the render into your line picture and position it in a way that you like. I've now combined all my lines into one layer. Do this using CRTL+E (Command+E). The Lines are above my render. I'm going to use the Eraser Tool to take away parts of the line that go over my render. This is going to give it a real 3D kind of effect.

19. The rest you can figure out yourself, experiment and try new things!

20. I can't stand ending a tutorial on an odd number. =P

CREATE PACKAGING DESIGN IN PHOTOSHOP

2009-07-05T14:26:00.000+08:00

This lesson will teach how to make a plastic sachet. We will be using plastic wrap filter as well as other technique to make it look more real.
FINAL RESULT:This tutorial, would like to make into two parts. Basic and advanced. Now let`s go for basic tut, followed advanced. This is useful for people who works on wrap-design for products.

Open a document 500 x 500 px.

Select the marquee tool (M) and draw a square 300 x 300 px.
Fill it with lemon yellow color (#f9be2e). This will be the base color of the sachet. If you have plans to make a red sachet, use red color.

Next select the rectangular shape tool (U). Draw a rectangle 300px width and height 30px as shown below. We need to modify this shape.

Select the shape and right click to open the menu. Select the Warp from the menu.

Move the top corner handles as shown below. Not necessary it should be exact. Press Enter Key to apply transform.

Make a similar rectangle of same width and height and as did above apply Warp and make it convex shape. Press Enter Key to apply transform.

Duplicate the Path, by holding the Alt+Move tool (V) to 10px down. Repeat the same process once again. Now you have 3 lines as shown below.

Draw the paths for the bottom part with the same steps applied for the top.

From the tool bar select the polygonal Lasso tool (L). Draw as shown below and join the end from where you started.

Select the middle part layer. Hit the Delete Key, to remove the area. This is to make the folding of the sachet.

As did for the left side , make a selection for the right side and use the same steps to cut the edges.

Now, from the toolbar, selct the Pen tool (P), draw a Path along the edge of the shape .

Create another one layer (Ctrl+Shift+N). Name it “highlights” .

With the same Polygonal Lasso Tool draw shape as below.

Now fill it with white color.

In the same layer draw few more shapes where the folds or edges are folded as shown below.

From the Filter menu (Alt+t) select Blur > Gussian Blur.

Drag the slider to 6.0 . See the result below. You can see the plastic sachet molding up.

Now lets go to make some salty chips.

Create a new layer. Make a rectangle with marquee tool . Fill it with color. I`ve used here is #fdfddd.

Go the Filters Gallery in the Filter menu.

Select the Texture which is the last one. Click to open more filters.

Select the Texturizer. You will get more settings on the right side which is shown below.

Press OK to apply the filter.

Next we will apply Motion Blur.

From the Filter Menu , select Blur > Motion Blur.

Apply the following settings. Press OK.

Draw an ellipse with the Elliptical Marquee tool.

Invert the selection by holding Ctrl+Shift+I.

Hit the Delete key to remove the inverted area.

Duplicate the chips layer.

From the Filter Menu, next we will use Twirl, which is in the ——————–

Drag the angle slider to 50. See the preview.

Duplicate another layer. Select the layer. Press Ctrl+F to apply the previous used filter.

You can play around with many shapes.

Place the logo (pic)

Place the chips and arrange it. Apply some drop shadow. Increase the size if the shadow opacity to 50%.

After arranging all the layers, make a ‘New Group from Layer’ from the Layers channel (for further editing). Hide the group.

Duplicate the layer group . Select all the layers and flatten (Ctrl+E).

Apply plastic wrap to give depth from the filter gallery.

Change the settings to the following. You might have to make some variations in the values, depending on the color you have chosen.

Try to get the maximum, by visually looking at it, in the preview window.

Tear the edge by using Lasso tool. Just draw a torn shape around the edge as shown below.

Rotate the torn by first moving the center point to base. Now rotate to 50 -60 degree from the option menu or manually.

Add perspective by selecting the layer. Press Ctrl +T . right click and select the bottom nodes.

Change the values of H to -7.5 or do it manually to get the result.

Press Ctrl+T and rotate the sachet at 110 degree.

Add chips falling below the sachet layer .

Add drop shadow to the sachet.

Add drop shadow to chips too

See the results.

Add a dark background color #691222.

The end results will be like below

HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE POST.

T H A N K Y O U !!

FIRE BRUSHES: PHOTOSHOP TUTORIAL

2009-07-05T01:52:00.000+08:00

My search for a tutorial that produced realistic flames was in vain. The most convincing attempt at recreating fire was using 3D programs which rendered particles. Most other Photoshop tutorial of fire are just not convincing enough. This tutorial will help you bring fire and flames to your images in more amazing ways than you can imagine.

Presenting:
Create fire through Brushes

These are the fire brushes that I have developed. Brushes are simply images of something that you paint onto your canvas.

1. First download this set of brushes to your desktop: HERE

2. Go to Photoshop and go to your Brush Pallet. Click on the small arrow to the right of the pallete and go to 'Load Brushes':

3. Find the brush that you just downloaded and hit 'load'.

4. Now you have the fire brush!

5. Make a new file 1000px by 1000px. Fill it with black (Alt+backspace). Make a new layer. Make your brush white and click on the canvas.

6. Now go to Colour Balance and put in these values:

7. There you have it fire. (I am sort of colour blind, so use your own eyesight to create the exact colour that you want).

Some Quick Examples of what to do with your FIRE

I decided to test the fire out in a few different scenarios, a bit more time would have made them look more finished, but I'll leave that job up to you.

Comments: You can make your own text by simply brushing over white text and using gradiants to merge them together! My Comments: Tank shooting and other gunfire. I decided to go for the dramatic rather than too much realism.

My Comments: A stealth fighter destroys sleek modernist house. Enjoy the power of blowing up things with these brushes. Several brushes are great to make exploding effects!My Comments: Sub Zero with fireball. I just liked the irony of it all.

Final

Be creative with these new toys. Please feel free to post results.

ANIMATED GRADIENT IN TEXT EFFECT

2009-07-05T01:17:00.000+08:00

Hi and WELCOME to this tutorial.

1. First I made very simple banner.2. Duplicate a layer .
3. Create a NEW LAYER or ( shift + ctrl + n) for short cut.
4. Type your desired in your banner. (color does n`t matter).5. Merge the layer with the text (ctrl + e) for short cut.

6. Now do this step by step:
Select -> All
Select -> Modify -> Border (With: 4)
Select -> Similar
Select -> Inverse
If you have done this correctly only your text will be selected.

8. Now select the banner copy

9. Edit -> Clear (or just press Delete)

10. Now the layer with the text may be deleted so you remain with the banner background and the banner copy (with the cut out text)

11. Deselect everything (Ctlr + O)

12. Create a new layer (Shift + Ctlr + N)

13. Make a gradient (Ctrl + G) in this layer. In my case I choose for a reflected Gradient and in a white colour

Settings:

Result:
14. Place the layer with the gradient under the banner copy

15. Jump to Imageready (Ctlr+ Shift + M)

16. If the gradient is already showing your text you need to place it so that the text in NOT visible. I did this to the compleet left side of my banner.

17. Duplicate the frame

18. In this duplicate you have to move the gradient from the left to the complete right side of the banner. (again make sure that the text is completly invisible)

19. Now tween

I used settings:
Tween with: Previous frame
Frames to add: 25
Layers: All layers
Parameters: all are marked

20. With the last frame I have added a delay of 2.0 seconds

21. File -> Save Optimised As... (Ctlr + Shift + Alt + S)
Result:
http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/961/gradienteffect.gif

WATER EFFECT ON PRODUCT PHOTOSHOP TUTORIAL

2009-07-05T00:05:00.000+08:00

In this tutorial i’ll try to show you how to make a nice looking product bottle fan art with the water effect that really makes you thirsty when you look at this kind of product pictures. You can apply this stuf to almost anything though, let it be fruit, cars etc. I also saw some nice photos of models wearing clothes with a similar water effect. So this water effect is pretty popular and is a good thing to learn. I’ll show you the basics since you need quite some experience and work to master this effect.

Things you need:

Photoshop ;D
Picture of a bottle or product - click here to down load s ample one
Picture of a water splat, click here to download a free HQ one that also has transparency.

First open your picture of the product, i’ll be using a Finlandia bottle since i’m a fan of it’s design and quality. If you’re a fan of photography, you make make such photos in a 5€ macro studio. Also import the transaprent water photo (download it here). Duplicate it and hide the bottom one so you keep a clean original layer for later use. Set the other ones blending to “Screen”.

After that “scale down” and “position” the water layer to the product like the first picture shows below. The second picture is a zoom view. I have used the “Rectangular marquee tool” and used it on the “water layer!” but the width and the height is applied to the bottle since this is going to be blurry because i want the water splat too be behind the bottle. Use the “Layer via cut” option when right clicking.

On the new made layer, change the blending again to “Screen” and then go to Filter -> Blur -> Gaussion blur and blur the image. I have used the setting of around 3px. Clean the image a bit so it really does look like it is behind the bottle.

On the same layer, add mask to it and use the “Gradient tool” from left to right to make the ilussion perfect. Right click on the layer and use the “Free transforma”. Again right-click and choose “Warp”. Do a similar warp transofmation like the second picture below, apply when done. This will give the layer the look like viewing something through the bottle.

Duplicate the hidden water layer and make it visible, rotate it and scale it down like the first picture below and place it in the right position like the second picture shows. Try to really use the water and blend it with the object/product you are working on. Try to experiment with different shapes. Use a soft eraser and erase the left part that is too big.

The next step will be to delete the bottom right part of the bottle and break it’s shape. There is now a line that needs to be deleted (the first picture below). Mak a new layer and use a “white soft brush” and make the hole in the bottle like the second picture shows. After that, just hit “CTRL+I” to invert it to black. You can skip the white brush step though, i just did it like this to show you where i used the brush since you can’t see it in detail when you use black color on black.
The next step will be adding more water so again duplicate the original hidden water layer and use the “Eraser” to delete the unneeded parts like the second picture shows. I hided the other layers to easily see the whole water layer.

Make the other layers visible again (first picture). Duplicate it 3 times and make it a half circle that will fit the half-circeled lower part of the bottle. After that you will need to clean it. Use the eraser for that on the lover layers.
And you’re done. Play with it and use your own creativity to make it even better. Here’s the final image:

CREATING STARBURST EFFECT

2009-07-04T23:47:00.000+08:00

This tutorial will show you how to create a starburst similar to that used in Anime, which can give a clean look to your PhotoShop compositions.

We start with a blank canvas, but we will also define a pattern to use, first. Open a new document 20x20pixels, then paint half of it one color, and the other half another color, like so:Next, press Ctrl + A to select all, and then goto Edit > Define Pattern and give it a name. Next, go back to your original document and choose the Paint Bucket tool. From the toolbar at the top, choose Pattern instead of Foreground, then choose the pattern we just created from the dropdown menu to the right:

Then we can fill in our document with this pattern, using the Paint Bucket:

Next, we will add a Filter > Distort > Polar Coordinates, and choose Rectangular to Polar. And there we have it:

POLARIZING EFFECT IN ADOBE PHOTOSHOP

2009-07-04T14:45:00.000+08:00

Understanding how this polarizing effect works

Step 1

Download and save the following JPG file to your computer then open it inside Adobe Photoshop.

vancouver.jpg 204.46 Kb (Right mouse click> Save A s)

Step 2

Once you have photo open inside Adobe Photoshop, look inside the CHANNELS pallet (windows->Channels). Inside the channels pal let, click on each of the channels and notice the differences between the channels.

So the red channel's characteristics are similar to those c haracteristics of a polarizing filter (reduced reflections and darker blue skies & gr een vegetation ), b ut ho w do we apply those characteristic s to the image? The following ste ps, we'll t each you a fast and effective way of simulating a polarizing filter.

Applying the Polarizing Effect

To apply the characteristics of the red channel into the entire image, we need to replace the luminance of the entire image with the image from the red channel .

Step 3

Open an image you would like to work with or use the Vancouver.jpg file we still have opened in Photoshop.

Step 4

Duplicate the current layer (

Layer> Duplicate Layer or Ctrl+J).

Step 5

Go in to the Channels pallet (Window> Chan n els) and click to select t he Red channel.

Step 6

With the red channel selected, create a selection of th e canvas (Selec t> All or Ctrl+A) and copy the selection to clipboard (Edi t> Copy or Ctrl + C).

Step 7

Before we paste the red channel into the Lightness channel, we need to convert the image into Lab Color (Image> Mode> Lab Color). When it ask s "Changing modes can affect the appearance of layers. Flatten image before mode change?", select Don't Flatten.

Step 8

Go in to the Channels pallet (Window> Channels) and click to select the Lightness channel.

Step 9

Paste (Ctrl+V) the red channel that you have copied in your clipboard. The Lightness channel should be replaced with the image from the Red channel.

Fixing Reds

Because we took data from the red channel and used it as the luminance of the image, the lightness of the reds are not correct. We can't really fix this so what we're going to do instead is simply mask out the effect from the areas that are r ed . This causes t he effect to only visible on areas that are not r ed.

Step 10

Now that we're done with applying the image from the r ed channel into the lightness channel, we can change the image mode back to RGB color (Image > Mode > RGB Color). When it asks "Changing modes can affect the appearance of layers. Flatten image before mode change?", select Don't Flatten.

Step 11

Select the top layer and add a layer mask (Layer> Layer Mask> Reveal All). Click on the thumbnail of the layer mask to ensure it has been s elected.

Step 12

With the layer mask selected, use the Apply Image too l (Image> Apply Image) with the following properties: Layer: Background Channel: Red Invert: Checked Blending: Multiply Opacity: 100%

Step 13

If you feel that the effect is too strong, you may reduce the op ac ity of the top layer to adjust the strength of the polarizing effect. To increase the effect, simply duplicate the top layer (Layer> Duplicate Layer or Ctrl +J).

Final Results

LOVE...LOVE..

2009-07-03T10:13:00.000+08:00

"i stared motionless before the mirror, as always, i stayed until i'm convinced there is no glass, nothing separating me from the room i see on the other side. i imagine everything is different over there. there are people in that world i would like. but like always my hand hits the glass. i know if i'd only waited one more second... damn.

just quotes i hear, i don't nessacarily rember where they are from, but they must be good to have a space on my website!! lol :)

Suicide is our way of telling god, "you can't fire me, I quit!!" ~Unknown~

"I lost my fear of falling i will b with u"
~darkloner002~

Never quit smiling, you never know who's falling in love with it ~repeated by sos~

"All The people and friends that you have lost? or the dreams that have faded? Never forget them." ~LuLu FF10~

"You stole my evil monkey, damn you Amanda!!" ~Alex Krumm~

(the following are from a quizzilla quiz i took)

"True love doesn't come to you, it has to be inside you."

"Dreams are like stars...you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny."

"The man who fights too long against dragons becomes a dragon himself."

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think its forever."

"Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it's when he ignores you and you still love him, it's when he loves
another girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is cry."

"True friends are those who lift you up when your heart's wings forget how to fly."

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, Life is broken-winged bird that cannot fly."

~~~~Annonymous~~~~

"Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change."

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Feelings I used to have aren't there, And for the first time in so long, I really just don't care...

i made a mental note, now i cant remember where i put it!

your halo is slipping down to choke u!

did it hurt when i fell from heaven? No, but it did hurt when they cliped my wings :(

i have a firm grip on reality, now i can strangle it!

* "I thought that by telling myself and everyone else that I hated you. That sooner or later I would come to believe it. But I now realize that by lying, it makes me want you even more."

* "They say no matter how dark the night is, the sun always rises again ... I say lost love makes one realize that no matter how bright the day is, the sun will always set again."

* "You said you didn't want to see me get hurt, so does that mean you closed your eyes when I cried?"

* "Don't say we're not right for each other, the way I see it, we're not meant for anyone else."

* "I thought I would die if I couldn't have you. Now that I know I can't have you, death seems inferior.

* "Because I never really had you at all, I didn't think it would hurt this much to lose you."

* Some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you and you know you can't have them, but it's worse when you thought you didn't want them anymore and then all of a sudden you realize you can't live without them."

* "Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine. Why do I have tears in my eyes today when he was NEVER mine?"

* "The one who makes me the happiest, is always the one who is already taken."

* "Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you."

* "Love is like a lump of gold, hard to get and hard to hold..."

* "I love you today, as I have from the start, and I'll love you forever, with all of my heart."

* "Whenever we say goodbye, whenever we part: know I hold you dearly, deep inside my heart..."

* "Your lips speak of soft sweetness, your touch a cool caress. I am lost within your magic, my heart beats within your chest..."

* "Love is like magic, and always will be, for love still remains Life's sweet mystery!"

* But finally, after all the tears, Ive drowned
After all the cuts, blood still runs down
The distance between us is hurting; my heart seared, But the closeness was what really killed me, what I really feared

* "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life"

ALL ABOUT LOVE HERE..

2009-07-03T09:52:00.000+08:00

* I might be okay, i am not sure. I just want hope back into my eyes. That hope that I used to believe in.

* The truth is- she misses him; even though he was never really hers

* "Some people will die for love, others will die because they lost it."

* Maybe isn't a very good term Maybe I could give up on you Maybe I could stop move on with my life & Maybe I can get over you... But maybe you can fall in love with me & Maybe you can realize what you are in my eyes & Maybe Just maybe you can love me too.

* "I never stopped loving you, I just stopped letting it show"

*"The easy part is hating you, the hard part is admitting i will love you forever."

* I fell for you, but you didnt catch me

* The worst part about going to sleep when your broken, is knowing when you wake up you will still be broken.

* Giving up doesnt always mean you're week. It just means that you are strong enough to let go.

* I don't want u out of love anymore, i want u out of habit-

* some day you'll cry for me like i cried for you.someday you'll miss me like i missed you.someday you'll need me like needed you. someday you'll love me but i won't love you!

* Why do I let myself drown in the tears I've cried for you over and over again...when you won't rescue me???

* Nothing is more painful than realizing he meant everything to you, yet you meant nothing to him.

* a broken heart continues to beat...

* The sky has lost it's color. The sun has turned gray; at least thats how it feels to me, when I realize I have to live another day.

* No matter how many tomorrows may come. I will never find that love

* How can he miss you if you don't give him time to miss you?

* I have no more love left to give to anybody
cause I've given it all to you.

* The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you

* Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

* For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'

* Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.

* Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

* I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

* When you are in love and you get hurt, it’s like a cut... it will heal, but there will always be a scar.

* I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was

* There's this place in me where your finger prints still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me

* I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had. But, I can’t because I know you won't come after me, and I guess that's what hurts the most.

* True love? I used to believe it existed, but when you’ve had your heart torn out and thrown on the floor, you just don’t care anymore. . Ask me why I keep on loving

* when It's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you.

* It hurts to see you walk away. For admit it or not, you were an important part of my life and the time we shared will forever be a part of me. So even though I realize that it was never meant to be, still, it hurts.

* You love to hate the one who loves the one you hate to love

* i just hope to sleep And never awaken Nothing left in this world Could replace what you have taken....
Sandy Cheney

* If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.
Ann Landers

* Many a young lady does not realize just how strong her love for a young man is until he fails to pass the approval test with her parents.

* he said i'll love you tomarrow, too bad tomarrow can never truely be reached, for it is always today

* love never dies, it's always murdered

sean humphery

* Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.

ERAP`S PRAYER

2009-06-30T02:37:00.000+08:00

Gambling father
who art in jueteng
hakot be thy name
thy kickback come
thy wealth be done,
in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan .
Give me this day
My daily bribe
And conceal all my sins
As I conceal those who sin along with me
And if I am Led into temptation
Deliver me from! criticism
For mine is the country,
its power, and its money
forever and ever. Amen.

Response:

Aba Ginoong Estrada Napupuno ka ng kwarta Ang panginoon ng jueteng ay sumasaiyo Bukod kang pinagpala sa lahat ng bobo At pinagpala ka naman ng kay raming kulasisi mo.

Era! p's Mi ultimo Adios Mi parte de jueteng wala na. Mis compadres y lords nabuking na. Los mansiones de mis queridas ini-imbistiga Mis amigos de la Camara el ultimo pagasa.

^_^ MAHAL AKO NI TATAY^_^

2009-06-28T03:25:00.000+08:00

ANAK: tay! sino mas mahal mo, ako o si nanay?

TATAY: syempre ikaw anak.....

ANAK: kaya pala kapag madaling araw,
ako po ay kinukumutan niyo
at si nanay naman po ay
hinuhubaran niyo......
sweet niyo tlga tay, a lab u....

ERAP ESPIL...!!

2009-06-28T03:21:00.000+08:00

Kausap ni Erap ang Abu sayyaf at nag nenegoiate pra mapalaya ang red cross

Abu sayyaf:papalayain ko ang aming biktima kung maiispell mo ang mississippi
Erap:pwede manila bay nalang hehe

Ngek!!

EGGPLANT tt^_^

2009-06-28T03:19:00.001+08:00

SEx IN THE OFFICE...

2009-06-28T03:17:00.000+08:00

MANNY PAKYAW..FIVE PESO BILL

2009-06-28T03:13:00.000+08:00

NAKASENTRO

2009-06-28T03:06:00.000+08:00

Mister: Sa’yo nakasentro ang isip ko. Sa ‘yo nakasentro ang pag-ibig ko. Buong buhay ko, sa‘yo lang nakasentro.

Misis: Tumigil ka! Etits mo nga, hindi mo maisentro, buhay mo pa?

BOLPEN

2009-06-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

…ballpen….
pag wla kng ballpen..
wla kng notes..
pag wla kng notes..
wla kng pag-aaral..
pag wla kang pag aaral..
wla kng diploma..
pag wla kang dploma..
wla kng trabaho..
pag wla kng trabaho..
wla kng pera..
pag wla kng pera
wla kng pag kain..
pag wla kng pag kain..
magugutom ka..
pag nagutom ka..
papayat ka..
pag pumayat ka..
papangit ka..
pag pumangit ka..
wla kang syota..
pag wla kang syota..
madidipres..
pag nadipres..
mag kakasakit..
pag nag kasakit..
ma-oospital..
pag na-ospital..
mamamatay..
pag namatay..
wla ka na..
kya ingatan mo bollpen mo

APLIKANTE RAW?

2009-06-19T17:02:00.000+08:00

Manager: uhm miss ano ho ang maipaglilingkod ko?

Aplikante: Sir may bakante po ba? mag aapply sana ako ng trabaho sa inyo.

Manager: naku miss nakakapagod ang trabaho dito teka ano bang posisyon ang hinahanap mo?

Aplikante: kahit ano po ang posisyon ang gusto niyo basta’t makapasok lang.

A GREEN PARROT

2009-06-19T16:59:00.000+08:00

A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega Mall and says: “Miss, I’d like a green parrot, please.” The salesgirl looks at him and asks: “Sir…, are you a La Sallite, by any chance?” The La Sallite replies: “O… bakit mo naman natanong ‘yan? If I ordered BLUE cheese, would you ask me if I were from Ateneo? I don’t think so. If I bought a MAROON shirt, would you ask me if I were from UP? I think not. So why then, when I want to buy a GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I’m from La Salle???” “Sir.. kasi naman…” replied the salesgirl, “this is a flower shop, eh.”

hehe!

AWESOME ANAGRAMS

2009-06-19T16:29:00.000+08:00

I don’t normally forward or share emails like this. But this is an exception. Here goes:

———
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I’ve received in awhile. Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: !
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law)

MUKA MO

2009-06-19T16:25:00.000+08:00

WIFE: Hudas ka! lagi kang umuuwing lasing. Naaasar na tuloy ako sa mukha mo.

HUSBAND: Pero mahal, kung hindi ako lasing, ako naman ang maaasar sa mukha mo.

PAALAM SWEETHEART

2009-06-19T16:22:00.000+08:00

Babae: sweetheart akoy hindi na mag-tatagal pa. Mayron sana akong sabihin sayo.

Lalaki: Ano yun sweetheart?

Babae: Gusto kong mag-asawa ka ulit ha! Para naman hindi mo na pag-tiyagaan ang katulong natin.

Lalaki: Nheeeee! Alam mo pala?

ANG MISIS KO

2009-06-19T16:17:00.000+08:00

Mister1: Ang misis ko, ang sarap humalik.

Mister2: Alam ko, kasi nahalikan ko na rin.

SEX AND AGE

2009-06-19T16:12:00.000+08:00

I’ve read somewhere that based on research, the sex urge of a man greatly depends on his age. For example: aged 18 - 25 (twice a day) aged 26 - 35 (daily) aged 36 - 55 (tri-weekly) aged 56 and over (try weakly)

THE GRADUATE

2009-06-19T16:08:00.000+08:00

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said:”Your first job will be to sweep out the store”. “But I’m a university graduate,” the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that,” said the manager. “Here, give me the broom - I’ll show you how.”

NASA AMERIKA KA NA...

2009-06-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

Napansin nung Tiyo na yung kaniyang pamangkin na bagong salta sa America ay umiiyak sa tabi ng kaniyang nakatumbang bisikleta sa tabing daan...

Tanong tuloy nung Tiyo, "Isko, bakit ka umiiyak?"

Sagot nung pamangkin, "Angkol, Angkol...", Madaling kinorek nung Tiyo yung kaniyang pamangkin, "Isko, ikaw ay nasa America ka na, Hindi Angkol... Angkel!"

Tinuloy nung pamangkin yung kaniyang kwento, "Angkel, Angkel, I rode my Bysikol..." Madali muling kinorek nung Tiyo yung kaniyang pamangkin, "Isko, nasa America ka na. hindi Bysikol ang tawag diyan... Bysikel".

Muling tinuloy nung pamangkin yung kaniyang kwento, "Angkel, Angkel, I rode my Bysikel to buy some Papsikol..." Madali na namang kinorek nung Tiyo, "Isko, nasa America ka na, hindi Papsikol - Papsikel!"

Tinuloy ulit nung pamangkin yung kaniyang kwento, "Angkel, Angkel, I rode my Bysikel, to buy some Papsikel... en den I pel... now I heb a Bukel..."

joy

ITLOG NA PULA

2009-06-18T23:32:00.000+08:00

Two wives are buying an itlog in the local market.

Wife 1: You know mare, whenever I see a itlog na pula naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko.

Wife 2: Bakit??? Ganyan ba kapula???

Wife 1: Hindi, ganyan kaalat!!!

ANO MABILIS PUMUTI?

2009-06-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

Tanong: Anong mabilis pumuti, buhok sa itaas o buhok sa ibaba?

Sagot: Buhok sa itaas – kase ang buhok sa itaas puro problema, pero ang buhok sa ibaba puro ligaya...

Heeeheeheee!

GLOW NG GLOW

2009-06-18T23:28:00.000+08:00

Pari: Sister, halika dito sa kuwarto ko…

Sister: Diyos ko!!!

Pari: Sara mo yung pinto at patayin mo ang ilaw…

Sister: Diyos ko!!!

Pari: Tabi ka sa akin.

Sister: Oh my God!!!

Pari: Tingnan mo itong relo ko. GLOW in the dark.

hahaha!

BREAK FAST IN BED

2009-06-18T23:26:00.000+08:00

Lolo and Lola having their breakfast in bed after sex.

Lola: Alam mo hanggang ngayon nag-iinit pa rin ang dib-dib ko sa iyo.

Lolo: Paanong hindi iinit yan eh, nakasawsaw and dede mo sa kape.

ngek!!!

JOY

ANG TINDI NG PAGHIHIGANTI

2009-06-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

Isang gabi, naglalakad ang isang lalaki sa may tulay nang may makita siyang babaeng nasa taas ng gilid nito at

magtatangkang magpatiwakal.

Huwag," sigaw ng lalaki. At sa kabutihang palad ay nakumbinsi ang babae at siya'y bumaba.

Lalaki: Ano bang problema mo't naiisipan mong gawin yan

Babae: Kasi, iniwan ako ng boypren ko't sumama sa ibang babae.

Lalaki: Miss, ganyan din ang problema ko pero di ko inisip na magpakamatay.

Babae: So, anong gagawin natin?

Nag-isip sandali ang lalaki at sinabi...

Lalaki: Kung gusto mo, maghiganti tayo sa kanila.

Babae: Paanong paghihiganti?

Lalaki: Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin... (sabay kindat sa babae na nakuha naman ni babae ang parinig na yon)

Maya maya'y nasa isang kuwarto na sila ng motel at nangyari na nga ang 'di dapat mangyari....

Nang makaraos si lalaki, nagsindi siya ng yosi. Nang halos filter na lang ay biglang nagsabi si babae:

Babae: Maghiganti uli tayo.

Medyo pagod, pero pinagbigyan uli niya ang request ni babae. Nang makaraos uli, nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi.

Nasa kalahati pa lang ang yosi nang:

Babae: Maghiganti uli tayo.

Medyo nangangatog na ang mga tuhod pero dahil sa hilig, muling pinagbigyan niya si babae. Muling nakaraos ang dalawa.

Nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Unang hitit pa lang niya ay:

Babae: Ganti uli tayo.

Talagang lupaypay na si manoy niya pero para huwag mapahiya ay muling pinagbigyan niya ang kahilingan ng babae.

Pagkatapos kumuha siya ng yosi. Sisindihan palang nang biglang:

Babae: Ganti uli tayo.

Lalaki: (Pagod na) 'Puwede ba...... patawarin na natin sila!!!!

JOY

A PROMISING YONG LAWYER

2009-06-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

Si Inday at Tekya ay nagkita sa isang High School class re-union:

Tekya: Single ka pa? akala ko engaged sa isang promising young lawyer.

Inday: OO. pero he did not keep his promise.

joy

ERAP: DECAF

2009-06-18T23:11:00.000+08:00

Erap went to Starbucks...

Erap: Isang kape nga!

Waiter: decaf po ba?

Erap : *GALIT*.... aba syempre alangan de plato!!

Joy:0

10 FT. SNAKE

2009-06-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

BIRTHDAY NI ERAP....

FVR: Erap, may gift ako para sa`yo, galing pa ng India! It`s a 10ft. snake!

ERAP: Niloloko mo ba ako?!...Hoy di ako ganun ka tanga ang Snake walang Feet!

Joy

ERAP AND FPJ: HINOG NA !!

2009-06-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

Erap: Pareng Ronnie, akyat ka sa puno, pisilin mo bunga kung hinog na...

FPJ: okay....

(Umakyat at pinisil ang bunga)

FPJ: Oo pare hinog na...

Erap: Sige baba ka na sungkitin natin...

Joy

PINOY BIRTHDAY PARTY

2009-06-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

You know you`re at A pinoy Birthday party When:

1. Some of a guest didn`t bring a gift, but brought some extra-uninvited kids.
2. When the cake says Happy Birthday Totoy instead of the child`s real name.
3. The party is CHUCK- E. Cheese but they brought their own cake and food.
4. It`s a child`s party but there are more grown-ups than children.
5.It`s Totoy`s Birthday and the party food is pansit, lumpia, puto, and 10 cases of beer.
6. For entertainment, instead of playing pin the tail on the donkey, there is usually a televised basketball game, or a live fight ni Pacquiao.
7.They don`t sing Happy Birthday; instead everyone is playing mahjong.
8. The party was over at 5:00, it`s 9:00 and the party is just starting.
9. The host calls someone whos on their way and tells them to stop and get some ice.
10. The guests start arriving and the hostess disappears to get ready.
11. The party is Saturday, and you get a call from the hostess friday night saying, I`m giving Totoy a Birthday party tomorrow at 5:00.
12. Some guests bring gifts that are still in the store bag unwrapped.
13. There always seems to be more family than friends at the party.
14. You have the party over at your brothers because he just bought a new house and he has a pool.
15. The cake didn`t come from the store; it came from the comadre of your friends sister who makes really good cakes.
16. You are told you have to save your plate and fork you ate your food with, so you can eat your cake.
17. Someone calls and says they can`t make it but asks that you save to save them some cakes.
18. Guests are wrapping up foods to take to Tatay, Nanay, Tita and Nining.
19. The party music is coming from small boom box.
20. The birthday child is dressed from head to toe in Tommy / Polo.
21. It`s Totoy`s party but since his cousin Jiky is there and her birthday is in a few days, it becomes Totoy`s and Jinky`s party. :(

joy

ANONG ANIMAL

2009-06-18T22:33:00.000+08:00

Anong animal ang di sigurado? Eh DI BAKA.

Ano naman ang laging napuputol? EH DI CAT.

Eh, Ano naman ang laging ayos? Eh DI OX.

Paano naman ang pangit? Eh DI E-COW!!

:)Joy

LANGAW KUMAKAIN

2009-06-18T22:31:00.000+08:00

Dalawang langaw kumakain sa ebak:

Langaw1: Pare excuse ha, nauutot ako eh...!

Langaw2: Pare naman kumakain tayo eh...:)

BAKIT HINDI PWEDE?

2009-06-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

Bakit hindi pwede magtayo ng Belen sa LA SALLE? kasi walang wisemen!

Bakit din di pwede sa ASSUMPTION? kasi walang virgin!

Eh, bakit sa ATENEO pwede? kasi puro hayop sila!!

Hehehehehehe!

Joy

ANG LASING AT ANG BARTENDER

2009-06-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

Bartender: Sir tama na po lasing na po kayo

Lasing: hhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiinnnnnddddddiiiiiiiii ako lahsing!!

Bartender: Papano po eh talaga pong lasing ka kayo?

Lasing: Para patunayan kho shaa yo, nakikita mo ba yung pusa na iyon papasok dito sa bar?

Bartender: Eh opo, Sir!

Lasing: Tingnan mo isa lang mata.... ganyan ako katalas pag naka inom!!

Bartebder: Sir, di po papasok ang pusa, palabas po, pwet na po ng pusa yun hindi MATA.!!!:)

ANO ANG TAWAG SA ....

2009-06-18T22:15:00.000+08:00

Ano ang tawag sa maliit na cat? Catiting.

Ano ang tawag sa maliit na duck? Pan-duck.

Sa maliit na goat? Kapirangoat.

Eh sa maliit na dick? Butiti

:)

Joy

What a nice Day

2009-05-16T14:03:00.000+08:00

It was a nice day for us,
Full of love, kisses and hugs are abide,
I feel i`m so lucky to be loved.

Loving you baby is not crime,
But loving you is just a circumstance,
That Love I never hide.

Joy P.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
2:26

He`s a real true friend

2009-05-13T19:17:00.000+08:00

A friend is a person you would want to be near when you are dying,
And whom you would like to be with when you are living,
To whom you turn for help when you are in trouble,
And who is the first to hear the good news when you have a good fortune.

Whose counsel you seek when you are perplexed,
And whose congratulations you, welcome when the perplexity is solved,
In whom you can confide the secret you want no other living soul to know,
Yet who will never pry into your heart to discover whether there are anymore secrets to be revealed.

And when you can lean when your heartaches,
But who will never take advantage your leaning,
And who will help you get back on your feet again,
On whose shoulder you can weep when you are sad,

And whom you can enjoy laughing when you are glad,
Who has a tear on his cheek when you suffer,
And twinkle in his eyes when you sunshine again.
Who has pain in his tone when you are in distress.

And melody in his voice when your heart is gay,
Who admires you for your strong points,
But loves you in spite of your weak ones,
Who can laugh at your foibles.

Without despising you for having them,
Who makes allowance for your limitations,
Without allowing them to obscure your talents,
Who is proud of you when fortunes favors you.

But is not ashamed of you when you fail,
Who contributes to your success,
Without claiming any share in it,
Who can feel and show satisfaction when you pleased him.

But never resentment when you disappoint him
Who will tell you the truth even when it hurts,
And to whom you can tell the truth without taking offense.

Who is not ashamed to ask of you a favor,
But will never impose on it for the favor that is done,
Who will not hesitate to do is a favor,
Even at the risk of being imposed upon.

Who can extend a helping hand and heighten you load,
Without expecting any other reward,
Than having had the privilege of doing so,
Who gives all he can whenever he can without ever keeping a record of what he has given.

Who says the best about you,
When everybody else saying the worst.

I LOVE YOU MY BEST FRIEND.

Joy Ponting
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
7:52